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As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one, too."The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Sco...ch with two drops of water." Coming right up," the bartender says.As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"The old woman replies,"Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue." OLD" IS WHEN ... Your. Mary held on as long as she could."Prrrrffffftt" went her ass, finally letting go of some gaseous contents. Mary wanted still to hold on to the losing end, so she waddled carefully, clenching her bubbly ass cheeks together."Prrft. Pbbblt, plblt." went her ass with each step. It was no use, thank goodness no one was near to see her at it!"Oh darn..." thought Mary, "I should get to the dorm before its too late." Mary fondly remembered the times she held on too long and accidentally shit herself.. I got home from work and started tea,Jen came in about 6pm came over as normal and gave me a big kiss and in her innocent voice asked if it was ok to go to the gym later on,i agreed,trying to keep calm,she walked off to grab a shower and went upstairs,i waited 5 mins listening at the bottom of the stairs hearing her in unzipping her gym bag and rumaging around,as soon as she got in the shower i sneaked upstairs and unzipped her bag looking inside to find her white high heels,white fishnets and. After about an hour of trying to figure myself out I felt like a smoke.My male side doesn't smoke but my female side does. I found my purse andpulled out a cigarette and a lighter.Happy said, "Sorry Miss there is no smoking in the vehicle."I smiled and with total disdain lit the cigarette, inhaled deeply andblew the smoke in his direction.Doc turned around and gave me a disapproving look.I smiled sweetly and said, "So call the police, I would love to speakwith them."He grimaced but said nothing.
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