Are you okay with that?” “What does that mean, Jeff?” “To me, it means that I realize that in love and fairness you are going to have to let...go of Donald easily but not completely. I do not expect you to end your relationship with him and I am okay if you still want to see him occasionally after we normalize our marriage whatever the hell ‘normal’ means.” “Uh, will you want to watch us together because I don’t know how he…” “I don’t think so Audrey, that might be too, err, dicey. Maybe it. I took the card, feeling emotionally flayed. This man didn’t even realize it, but he was a slap to my face. I was sexually aroused and eager to pay him to hurt me and I didn’t even care what the brand was anymore. I just wanted to feel more of this terror, while he held hot metal to my flesh and I whimpered in pain. Twisted? Yeah, but there it was. Maybe it was part of the reason why Morgan and Trish were so attracted to me because I had kind of been projecting this onto them as well. It was. It was the realisation that somehow one wasn’t needed as much as before. The children had grown up and moved out and had their own lives to lead. Jamie was married to Michelle with a baby well on the way and Becky was in her second year at Uni. My role as mother wasn’t so necessary anymore. Of course it had been a very long time since they use to limp to me with a graze on their knee that I could magically kiss better, or helping with homework, or watching Jamie confidently knock up fifty plus. I looked at him and said “handcuffs or manacles” He smiled slowly and repeated the word manacles in my ear as if he was telling me a very, very, dirty secret. “I want to see you in manacles minha Belle” I laughed and punched him in the ribs. I knew he was teasing me.It was now late February about eight weeks after my first arrival and GSAAP luncheon and 2 weeks after our return from Skye and 10 weeks before my flight back to New York to go to graduation at my College in USA. Life had changed. I.
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