” She grabbed my hair, and pulled me toward the sink. My bowels were aching for relief. She grabbed a bar of ivory soap out of the drawer, placed it...under the running water, and lathered it up. “Open up your filthy mouth, boy,” she commanded. I obeyed and she shoved the bar in my mouth, and moved it all over my tongue and teeth. It tasted so awful that I temporarily forgot about my desperate need to empty my bowels. She did this for about a whole agonizing minute. Then she stopped, and pulled. She told me to wait and to save, when I wanted it now and to spend. She told me to plan for tomorrow, when I wanted to have fun today. She knew things, too, before they happened. She had the presence of self and the clarity of insight that protected her from those who were insincere and who would deliver her harm. She undressed me and put me to bed all those time I felt the need to drown my sorrows in alcohol. Yet, even after she experienced disappointments in her life, and I admit that I was. “No, it was funny. Honestly, funny.” I said.“Are you gay?” Elyssa asked.“And now you’re insinuating that I’m gay because I don’t want to fuck my sisters!” I laughed.I stopped cold.“You realize that you just told me I should want to fuck all six of you, right? That you want me to want to be incestuous with you all ... I want to know now, are you attracted to me?” I asked.She blushed bright red.“Great.” I sighed. “Sorry, Elyssa, While it’s great to know that you are attracted to me, I’m not into. As kids I did think about letting you have sex with me a many times, I saw that need in you and it made me feel so warm knowing you wanted to make love to me. I want to have one child with you after I complete college to lock you in." I would have left Claud a few times but he always cried saying he would kill himself if I left him, so I always stayed with him both before and after we married. As a teen and during my marriage I had lots of fantasies, where you took me away and made me your.
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