Her breath danced inside my ear as she spoke. "You really want to know why I asked you out?" "Yes" "You seemed like you were looking more for companio...ship than a relationship." "You were so sure?" "I saw it in your eyes. Even when I saw you on stage, I noticed it. I saw you reaching out." "How did you know what I was searching for?" "Because none of the usual things were there. I saw none of the flirtiness or coyness in your eyes. You knew you were beautiful but you didn't care. You weren't. The darkness is complete here, and my breath is laboured through the tight rubber hood with its single pinprick breathing hole. I try to crawl, seeking fresh air out from under the heavy blankets, but they are holding me down, securing me in place. I try to calm myself, try to stifle the panic in my mind, and it is like this I stay, unmoving and focussed on breathing gently enough to live, my limbs aching in their bondage. How long I don’t know, but I mange to dream a little. I see him. I understand there was some kind of a scandal there, and he moved on to California. I guess now I know what the scandal was.As for changing your name, it’s a pretty easy process. People change their names for all kind of reasons. I for one will be glad to see a Merchant back in the house and the community. Get a lawyer and have him put you on the docket, and we’ll go from there.”When I told Jen, she cried for an hour with happiness. Three weeks later we were in front of a Judge, and pronounced. $25 a week or a hundred a month. Cheap ... but damned inconvenient. I had to go to the university every day. That meant the dinghy ... and the Yamaha outboard that had never given me a lick of trouble ... until now.Now ... I didn’t have time to fix it. Part of my doctorate was teaching basic algebra to older young adults. You can imagine... “Hey, kid. You waiting for someone?” He was big. He was blond. He was wearing a football jersey. Sorry ... rugby shirt. He was gods gift.“No time! I have.
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