. Why had I agreed to this? I'm an idiot.As I walked forward through the park, toward the increasing volume ofcutesy wedding music, it all became very...real. I became very violentlyaware of the fact that I was dressed like a woman, in a sexy dress. Witha full face of makeup. I became violently aware of my done up hairlightly bouncing as I walked, and of my shaved legs as the wind tickledthem. And that I had agreed to stand in front of everyone during thisceremony, and show myself off.I could. This wasdespite feeling ashamed of myself, and consumed with guilt each timethis happened. Eventually I was beating myself off every night oncemore, each time in my imagination coming simultaneously with my motheras she gasped in passion beneath me. Secondly, there was a subtle but definite change in Mom’sattitude to me. I occasionally caught her looking at me a little oddly – in asort of appraising way, to my mind. She would quickly look away whenshe saw that I had noticed, and. " Don't you ever stop?" Absolutely not, and you know why?" What's that?" I'm the queen, and no one can take that away."Holly was in her early forties and ten years older than me. She called me cutie because I was her cute little puppy dog. The raven haired b**st knew how to toy with me in her own special way."So", I said, "how about that drink?" I'm not thirsty. I'm hungry." What?"Before I reached for the booze, Holly grabbed my wrist and planted a big one on my lips. I now knew what she meant. No matter what, if his plan worked then the other girls would seehim and know. He was prepared for face that. He had to be. He just had tobe bold about this or give it all up. He needed to be bold."My daughter keeps saying how you are flirting with her and she isinterested. But now? With you doing this. What are you doing?" Anne askedhim.Allen said, "I wanted to change a little, I wanted to see if I couldbecome one of the girls. I was never interested in Kimberly, Anne. I justenjoy talking to.
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