’ I looked at him and I wanted to start crying again. I nervously said, ‘But I am doing everything you want. I haven’t said no to anyone. I let...them believe that I am enjoying it.’ He cut me off and said, ‘Let them, let them — come on, Pam, you know you fucking love it. You saw how you are when you get turned on. Don’t fuckin’ lie to yourself or to me.’ I said, ‘OK, but I am doing it. You know I’m doing it the way you want.’ Ballard said, ‘If you were, honey, you and I would not be talking. I didn't want it to end but a trip to the store could only last so long so he brought me home. I didn't care. We parked in front of my place and he leaned in to kiss me quickly as he hugged me and I slipped my tongue in his mouth. Though he was slightly hesitant, we lingered there a bit longer than we should have before I jumped out of the car with my groceries.Later that night I pleasured myself at the thought of that kiss at least four times before I wrote him another email detailing my day. The picture showed Claire’s naked body lying prone on a bed, her full breasts rising and falling with her steady breathing as her beautiful face looked hungrily towards the black figure walking away from the camera towards the bed. In an instant, I knew what was happening, Jason was going to get me to watch as he took Claire for the first time.Just as, despite the pain, I’d been unable to stop myself watching them dancing and kissing earlier, so I knew I’d be unable to stop myself watching. One was Flanagan’s where every Thursday night was 25 cent drink night. The crowd tended to be young and mostly made up of people from my high school and a few surrounding high schools it the N. Dallas area. At 18 and 19 I hooked up with a handful of girls I knew from school there. Several times they drunkenly confessed having had a crush on me in school. In school I was to stupid and naïve to notice but with a few years of post-graduation experience under my belt I knew very well how to both.
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