'Just about Laurie's size,' Ithought with a faint smile. 'He'll feel comfortable with it.' They screwed snugly into place -- they were nicely designe..., likethe plastic screw-tops of hair-product bottles. I wondered whatother sizes they might come in.Then I saw that at the base of the outer penis there were balls,that the penis had a urethra leading to a gasketed opening atop theballs. A squirting mechanism! Sure enough, I thought -- squeezethe balls and they'll fill up through the penis. " Yes, you damn well do. You've admitted that last Christmas you actually felt angry about it: about bloody time too."Oh, Nick," she went on. "You are a very, very special person if you can give unconditional love like that."Nick shook his head. "No, Sally, it was selfish love that turned to self-pity." Balls! You loved her and trusted her. She let you down and you went on loving her. That, Nick, is selfless not, not, not selfish. That you then erected a barrier was not self-pity. It was. Sometimes, I would participate in orgies with other White women who craved Black men as much as I did. And these were the types of women no one would suspect of having such base desires. The wives of doctors, lawyers, businessmen and so on. Women who were corporate executives, scientists, lawyers, and other hard-working and highly educated professionals. Yet all of us craved the almighty Black cock. Simply couldn't live without it.Well, once upon a time a Black man I loved and left my husband. Geoff was being his usual self now, sullen and avoiding my company. I knew why of course but I just couldn't see how we were going to move past it. I found that I just didn't want to know anymore. Previously I would have fretted over it and wondered what I had done wrong but now I knew it wasn't something I had done, not that I am trying to plead innocence here. I know I am far from innocent but if we were both heading in this direction then clearly something was very wrong with our.
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