There was so much planing for this trip. The drive was long. The whole time i my mind swirled with possibilities. I ran many scenarios in my head, wo...ld i walk in and just rush into his embrace or would he first give me an awkward tour of his house. How would we start, we had never had uninterrupted access to each other before. I worried that i would not live up to his fantasies. I worried i would be too vanilla for him. The thoughts made my head spin.... Before i knew it i was only an. “Wait! Don't go!” I said in desperation as I fumbled through my purse, looking for the hundred-dollar bill I had tucked away for this very purpose. “I need you to stay! Please stay!” I said as I placed the bill on the small table by the front door. I figured this made my intentions quite clear.Eric looked down at the bill and back at me. “I can't believe this! You wanna pay me to do you? Jeez, lady? You don't have to pay anyone to do this hot looking body. Shit, lady! You may be my. The cold drove me to him.Contentedly I snuggled myself even closer and drew every quantum ofwarmth into me. Strangely enough just then I had to shiver. Kai took thatas an excuse to pull me in front of him. I allowed it to happen.Mom was a ways away deep in a conversation. That's why she first paidattention to me when I gave a little scream. Kai had kissed me! It was sounbelievable that I needed a moment before I defended myself against it.Or had I voluntarily opened my mouth? I cannot say. In. I spun in her arms, slapping one hand over her mouth before she could finish. ‘No.’ It was a whisper, a breath. ‘Not yet….I’m not ready for this, Nat. Please.’ Natalie pulled her head away with a hard shake. ‘When will you be ready, Monk? For the love of God, you need to know why, and then you need more time — can’t you just fucking accept? Can’t you just…let go?’ Her voice went from angry to plaintive. ‘Please, Monk…all this control is killing you. If you don’t see it, I sure as hell do.’ I.
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