Anyway since then Ethan has been looking a little.. I dunno man-boy to me. The shit I used to think was confidence now seems like lazyness, his bravad... seems like dim-wittedness. I know he hasnt changed. Its the same him, the same shit, but Im different now. It feels dissonant, frightening. Like I thought I knew what I wanted, and it wore a leather jacket and smelled like engine-oil and booze, and rode motorcycles with a devil-may-care attitude, and bent me over those motorcycles and fucked me. Again, a take a few moments to think. “No, I was out with friends.”“Perfect! Now on a scale of 1-10 how is the pain?”“Eh I would have to say a 4 or 5.” “Now squeeze my hands!” He says as he takes my hands in his. I squeeze hard down and there is little to no pain. Only a bit of pain coming from my stomach where he had pressed before.“Ok Robbie I have some good news!” He says as he holds out his hand for the chart which the intern passes back to him. Quickly looking over it he looks back to me.. ‘You know, a girl could get used to this. Then you’re in trouble.’ I said, grabbing the flowers in one hand, and his arm in the other. ‘It’s a risk I’m willing to take.’ Drake said, acting somber. He failed horribly. I felt his eyes on me as I headed for the kitchen. Once the roses were in water, I grabbed a couple long stemmed glasses, and a bottle of wine out of the fridge and walked back into the room. He was still staring at me. A little flustered, I set the bottle and glasses on the table.. I had no wish in my mind to do anything but marry her the moment it was ok to do so. She is my best friend, the greatest person on earth, and I never want anything other than the best for her. This is one reason I am leaving. That can’t happen while I am here.I know you think of me and Suzie as just friends. And we are that, as we always have been. But I mean we were growing up, and when we took that cruise, we just fell into something else entirely. Life changes as time goes on, and that was a.
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