I am silently yelling your name in my sleep, and its a sound not like anything you could ever imagine, the sound of heartache. Don’t you understand ...ow much I feel for you? Can’t you see that my life is void without you? Please don’t make me go through this, I need your love to make me whole. I don’t even know how to exist and not be in love with you, but is that even what you really want? Do you really want to be rid of me and all of this love I feel? I honestly don’t know how much more I can. Gram will still welcome you. Your mother will too. Ben, I am hanging up. Say hi to the girls and Sandy. I hope your life turns out better than mine." Dad, your life isn't over with yet. Have faith."I wrote my mother apologizing for leaving so suddenly. Three days later Ben called. "Gram got your letter, but she is complaining you didn't really give her a reason. You want to share with me?" No." Okay, I guess I can figure it out. It is something Mom did or didn't do. Let us see, she is in her. He went into the closet and took out the paddle. “Take off your clothes- everything.” “Why should I? I said I’ll send the payment out now.” “I told you to take your fuckin’ clothes off, right now!” I nervously started to undress, unsure of what to expect from him. I walked towards him as my clothes stood in a pile on the floor. “Now, put the palms of your hands against the wall and spread your legs. Stick your ass out,” he ordered. “How many did I say you were to get with the paddle?” “I. I went back to my room and locked the door. Several minutes later, the door knob slowly turned, but the dead bolt would not let Debbie in. It was doing its job. That was when I heard the sobbing. I know it sounds shitty, but I was waiting for this. She was beginning to feel, emotionally, that things were very serious. That was good.It went on like this for the rest of that week and the next three. We ate together and chatted at breakfast and dinner, when Debbie did not have to work late. We.
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