“I think you should go to him.”Abigail burst into a deluge of tears.“I can’t go,” she wailed. “I gave my word to serve God, to dedicate my...life to Him! What will He do to me?”“He will forgive you, of course,” said the Abbess, putting her arms around Abigail and hugging her tightly. “If you open your heart to Him, He will understand. That is what He does.”“I was afraid, Mother, that Our Lord was tempting me, as a test of my vocation. I didn’t want to fail Him, to be condemned to hellfire.”“Even. I just want you to be comfortable with me. If you keep having those dreams that’s going to be difficult.’ ‘I think I’ll stop having them when I’m with you.’ ‘I hope so.’ I have to say it again. I never really said it to Gerry and I regret it. ‘I love you, Evelyn.’ She is quiet. I believe she’s thinking about saying it back but thinks better of it. ‘I know. Come home soon.’ I hear her hang up and sigh. I thought she was going to say it back. I know I have to be patient. She’s been through a lot.. She does not need the materialistic luxuries of life. She is special, very sensitive. Without her saying it I can say she adores you, idolises you and you are next to God for her. These type of kids need special handling and care or they could undergo mental trauma.”{Now these words were coming from a person, who herself might be no more than nine to ten years older to my daughter. She put the word maturity to shame. I somehow found my voice.}Me: If you have finished lecturing me then can I ask. I lived in Kent and worked in London. Auntie Rita and uncle Peter lived in South London. They were keen 10 pin bowlers and asked if I wanted to join one evening which I quickly agreed to. After we had finished it was late and my parents agreed that it would be a good idea to stay the night with them. I slept in their spare room and as usual I had a wank before I went to sleep. I wanked into a handkerchief, put it under my pillow and went to sleep. I got up in the morning, had breakfast and went.
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