When I got back to the car, she was changing Audrey's diaper. When she finished, we headed to the bus terminal. "Here," I said, handing her the five h...ndred. She looked around outside the parking lot and reached over to pull at my belt. I caught her hand. "What are you doing?" I can't fuck you out here, but I can at least give you a blow job. If you want to get a motel room for a couple hours I'll let you fuck all my holes." This is so you don't have to do that," I said. "Stop thinking like a. Out of pure instinct I hugged her, and told her that she has me, and she will always have me, so don’t be sad. She was really happy hearing it and she hugged me back. We stayed like that for some time and then I looked into her eyes and gave her a kiss. It was a complete involuntary action.She didn’t oppose my advancement, instead she kissed me back. We broke into a long kiss. It wasn’t the most passionate or best kiss, but it was my first one and it really felt good. I didn’t have any prior. That's the new me. The old me embraces the image of myfather pacing alone, wondering, waiting...Punished by my deliberate disregardfor his paternal instinct. Won't he be sorry? Oh yes, that old thought like afamiliar blanket wraps me up, keeps me warm. "How do youwant to play?" He keeps his eyeson the road. "What do you mean?" "I meanrules, I mean safe things." Online I have no limits, something we bothtook advantage of, found pleasure in. But not here, not tonight. He looks at me inthe soft. It bothered me at the time but I didn’t know quite why. I didn’t have to wait much longer to get that answer but by then it was definitely the wrong question. ********** Another month slipped by, things did seem to be improving, my very irregular dinners with Allison (never with Myra along) seemed to become more frequent and we established a semi-firm ‘Date night’ now for every Monday night. Our sex schedule, however did not improve. Weekends seemed to remain strictly off-limits and I never saw.
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