Und auch wenn ich es nicht gern zugab und auch nicht erwartet hatte, die Einsamkeit machte mir zu schaffen. Und ich merkte, wie sich bei mir nach eini...en Wochen ein unheilvoller Rhythmus einstellte.Ich hörte auf, meine ohnehin selten gewordenen Freunde zu treffen, blieb lange wach, schlief noch länger und brütete viel vor mich hin. Dachte nach über Michaela und wieso alles so gekommen war. Immer wieder und ich fing an sie zu hassen. Dazwischen masturbierte ich. Stundenlang und schließlich mehr. "Right now, I just want to go over some things with youand your parents." She would be taking more pills, as she'd expected, andshe was already being given quite a few things through the IV tube: anti-inflammatories, carefully dosed steroids, and a cocktail of bodybuildingsupplements; the only thing that was lacking was the extra protein (theliquefied musclemen, she thought to herself), as there was too muchprotein in her bloodstream as it was. She got strict orders not to movein certain ways,. I mean sank to the core of theearth! She was in the den and I suddenly realized that I had notlogged off in my rush to get undressed.I walked in with my head hung low, not daring to look at her. Andthere, paused on the computer screen, almost exactly where I had leftoff was the video of the man licking up the black bulls jism from hiswife. "Were you watching this?" my bride snarled.Ahhh...."Never mind. Of course you were. Do you get off on this shit?" sheasked.Ahhh....Ahhhh"Again, never mind.. "Soon, honey, so very soon you can close those tired, sleepy eyes and just listen to my voice as I tell you the truth. You feel so warm and so safe, honey, so trusting because you know I'm telling you the truth. You know I'm telling you the truth now even when you are not looking into my eyes, don't you, honey?" Amanda swallowed hard, this was the crucial step.Through pursed lips Amanda let out the breath she hadn't even realised she was holding as Katie replied dreamily. "Yes." Good girl,.
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