I turned my head so that I was not looking at her straight in the eyes. A moan escaped my lips. Oh god!!! I thought to myself. I so hope that...she did not hear me. I could hear mom talking to me in a distance. All that I could do was respond with nodding of my head. To be honest I did not really know what she was saying. It just felt so good having moms soft hands palming my nipples. There was a release, and the next thing that I was aware of was that mom was behind me. And in my bed with me at night. Just like it used to be. I was safe then. "I know he's gone. But he won't really die until I do." Then Karen had to hold her while she cried again. For just as long. These were her Hard Things. That day was the hardest day of my life. Sitting there and not being able to hold her. Or even pretend to hold her while she listened to me talk to her on the phone. "Hope honey, Don loves you now, just like Chris did." Don's trying to love me. Chris. My knees quaked. My toes curled tight. The tension was about to take me. He struck her again, burning a crimson Xacross her cheeks. She shut her eyes this time, and squealed. And thank the stars she did—for right in that moment my eyes rolled back, and I collapsed, writhing, to the ground.The suddenness left me half-senseless. I laid there in the grass, quivering, panting hard as the ‘snaps’ and ‘slaps’ continued, punctuated by Anna’s slurping, sibilant moans. I rolled myself over, staring. Both sons were taught a sisters love and with four able girls around there was enough for all, the father made them share beds and the bonding of my mother and her younger brother was cast back then, so myself and my own brother was nothing new to mother, she thought it normal for me to have the men of our family, after-all, it was just sex.Sex for most women is a tool to use if you are blessed with a matching body, but for me it was a necessity. There were no boundaries, it was uninhibited, it.
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