And he told me to leave the outside lights off - for the same reason I followed everything else he ordered, I did this, as ludicrous as it seemed at t...e time.When I got outside it was not so crazy sounding - when standing before my flower bed I could see perfectly into the lighted study where my husband and daughter were.Yes, you read correctly. I stood there in the dark and watched the two of them in there. I've never witnessed two others in sexual contact - and this first time had to be my. One evening I took the bus into the city (I had no money to even think of buying a car). I was hanging out at a game arcade, playing a variety of video games. An older man in a suit (I now know he was fifty. The way I know that will come later.) was watching me play and began to make comments about how good I was at scoring.He kept chatting me up, and I was flattered. He asked if I’d like to have a drink, on him. I said “Sure.” We went to his hotel room. He gave me half a glass of vodka –. I awoke in the night and was in pain, but it was the ‘new’ usual amount. So I soldiered on to the bathroom, then back to bed. I awoke about around five. I removed the bike from the wall hangers, to move it outside. I didn’t want to be tempted every morning at 5AM. I knew that it would be a while before I could ride it comfortably for any real distance.After I showered and dressed for the day, I rolled the bike into the rear of the ambulance. That bike had cost me almost half a grand. Nobody in. Cold water. The river was barely above freezing, and would be fatally cold to anyone else, but the strong current felt wonderful to me, especially flowing against the most intimate of places.With a contented sigh I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, the scents from the forest carried a thousand little stories to my nose. A nearby fox’s den hid a mother and her kits. A couple deer fed downstream, keeping a wary eye on me. When I was human, I felt helpless with my eyes closed, but I didn’t.
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