.Dick Van DykeThree Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, “However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you...will get in heaven.”The first guy comes up to the gate and says, “I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her.” So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce.The next man comes up and says, “I cheated on my wife a little but I still love her.” He gets a mustang and drives off into heaven.The next guy came up and said, “I cheated on my wife a lot.” He. He almost couldn't watch asshe took a straight razor slicing away any protruding pubes and thenlet down his leg. After she repeated it on the other side he couldn'thelp but stare at how shapely he looked below and then before he couldblink she knelt holding open something for him to step into.It all happened quickly now as off came the dryer from his head and helooked down as shorts slid up his legs. Once she fastened and zippedup the fly on went a blouse as Maxine buttoned him up. He looked. It may not be for me to question the decision making of the senior management who are in charge of running this shit show, but have none of them ever heard of the Internet or Snapchat or Tik Tok or OnlyFans? What next? Are they going to expect me to host my own MySpace page? Fuckwits.But, it's not the teen-twats fault that I'm contractually obliged to answer their dumb, puerile, bleatings. So, I shall put all that to one side, fix a welcoming smile across my lips, allow my eyes to sparkle with. A reference to thescandal looming. This one was short enough to just be real. Short enoughto dash off in a moment.I'd checked the car, and somehow missed it. It made a lot of sense, it fitthe case I thought I had. But I had missed it, though I'd looked forexactly that kind of dashed-off, last-minute though. And you're not reallydead until there is a body.***I brooded all the way back to Norfolk. She stared out the window, as wewhipped by the peanut fields, the woodlots full of loblolly pine..
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