All were actions to help steady myself, to steel myself to what I was moving into. Why was I different? Maybe because I was not going into it blindly....I knew what it was to be with a dog. Okay, only one at a time, but still … I knew what to expect. Even more than that, though, I knew that I liked being mated by a dog. Being naked all the time, always being available to them, yes, those were intimidating aspects. But, I had set my terms, conditions, and expectations that the others had not. I wasn’t really very experienced, you know, sexually, when I got to college. I’d done some stuff with my boyfriend. Kissing, petting, going parking. Stuff like that. I would use my hand on him sometimes, and a few times I sucked him. We only had intercourse once and it was a disaster. When I got to school I was kind of down on sex and didn’t have much free time to worry about it. Eventually I settled in to the routine of school, studying, and partying on the weekends. Everything was so new. It. They would get chafed if you didn't have that lubricant.”“Oh,” Jamie said.I prayed the conversation would be over when she went silent. My prayer was not answered.“What would chafe them? Doesn't chafing happen when something rubs against you?” she asked.“Yes.”“So what would rub the inside of my vagina? Oh, wait, I know. A penis.”“Yes, a penis, or anything else that might go in there.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew that comment would bring more questions.“What else can go in. He was a small scale farmer who had a place just out of town. His water supply had dried up, and he had made such a poor crop this year that he could not pay his bills, much less provide for his family. He was well liked around the community, and people wanted to help him, but he was too proud to accept charity. The other men at the table knew that he was cheating, he really wasn't that good at it, but he never took more than a few dollars away from the table each week, so they wrote it off to.
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