That’s why I brought one of the people that I love most in this world to you for help. If you tell me something is for my own good, I agree to it. I...know you would never do anything to harm me. You don’t need to ask permission or forgiveness for trying to help me. Without you, I wouldn’t be here. That gives you all the permission you ever need from me.”She nodded. “I appreciate that,” she said quietly. “I still feel like I failed you by not recognizing how much distress you were in.”“Under. Of course. Twelve strokes always followed my spanking. I wondered how I had forgotten. Maybe Zofia telling me it was over was the reason. A lie of course. I was livid with her, and about to say something until I saw her smile. “So Matthew, do you want your normal twelve strokes, or do you want to earn a lesser number?” I looked at her, through my blurred eyes, unsure if she was joking. Teasing me. Of course I wanted less strokes. Hell I wanted no strokes at all. “How?” I asked. “Have. In games of houseI'd left my younger cousin, Philip be the father so I could put a pillowunder my shirt and pretend to be the pregnant sister in the family.While I tried to be a good sport in games of backyard football and cops& robbers with my neighborhood friends, I preferred going to see myfriend's sisters to play games of dolls or play dress up with cousinsJennifer and Katrina. I had always an envy feeling toward their greatoutfits. Especially the ones they use to wear to the Thanksgiving. “Hey” I yelled in.“I know, Baby” she yelled back, “I was just a mess. I didn’t want you to see me that way.”“You know that I think you ALWAYS look amazing” I added.“I know you do” she replied, “And I love you for that… and for all of this,… but I looked BAD… I really did. Could you please bring me some coffee and by then, I’ll be out and ready to talk?”“Sure thing, Babe” I said and left her alone.I returned about 15 minutes later with her coffee and some toast, giving her time to gather.
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